One Month Left - Reflections

So I officially have one month left of my exchange. It is so weird to say that I've been here for 10 months now. Time flies by so quickly, it's alarming. When I think back onto when I first arrived, it feels like it was just yesterday, but then I think of all the things I've done and everything I've learned and it makes sense that I've been here for almost a year. I'm having a lot of mixed feelings about going back to California. On one hand I don't want to leave Switzerland and this life I've created here, the people I've met, the friends and family I've gained. But as I am preparing to say goodbye, I realize that this chapter of my life is about to close, and that I have to learn how to deal with it. As sad as I am to leave Switzerland, I am equally excited to return home to California and see my family again. I'm excited for burritos, and driving, and beach trips. I've grown so much over the course of this year, and I wouldn't change this experience for anything. There have been ups and downs, but that's how life is. I never realized that I would get so attached to this place, these people, this culture. I'll be swapping train rides for car rides, mountains for the beach, raclette for burritos, my swiss life for my californian life. It's bittersweet, knowing the end date of the life you've cultivated and then realizing that that date is coming sooner than you thought. Even if I come back to Switzerland, it will never be the same as it has been this year. When I leave, I will be leaving this life behind, closing this chapter. And I'm not sure how I feel about that. I know I will be coming back home as a different person, and that my life probably won't be the same as it was when I left a year ago. I know there will be reverse culture shock and that life will be different. Even thought I wasn't there, life went on, people changed. Even though I know all of this, it doesn't seem real. Leaving Switzerland doesn't seem real. The fact that I might never see some of my best friends again doesn't seem real. And I know it won't seem real until I'm back in the United States. I'm not even sure it will seem real then.
This weekend is my last Rotex weekend here in Switzerland, my farewell weekend (for the oldies). I remember the Matterhorn Weekend so clearly, as it was the farewell weekend for my oldies, and thinking that my farewell weekend was never going to come, that it was so far away. But again, time goes by so quickly and in what felt like a matter of moments, it's the week before the farewell weekend in Tessin.
Throughout the year, I've measured time in different ways, in months, days, weeks. Each one is different than the other. When you say you have one month left, you feel as if you have much more time, than if you say "I have less than 30 days left". It's a weird feeling, knowing that they are both the same amount of time, but one seems longer than the other. Counting down the days, it feels like they are going by so slowly, but I know that when the time comes for me to board the plane back home, I'll wonder where all the time went in the last 30 days of my exchange.